When I turned this paper in I thought it was the
smelliest piece of shit paper I had written.
Apparently my english professor thought differently.
I only got a 90% on it due to my many grammatical
errors, but she told me that she loved it and that
I should submit it to the Troubador (the literary
magazine at my school). So I suppose it must not
be too bad.
Robert Tabb
Stadelhofer
ENC1101
5 Oct 2000
When you are a poor lowly college student, you must find a way to
survive on as little money as possible and still be able to have money
left over for partying. One way to save money is to cut back
drastically on your food costs. Ramen noodles are an excellent
source of cheap food that tastes good. Like many other
students, I have mastered one way to prepare the perfect ramen
noodles. I would like to teach you how. This road will not be easy,
it will be a long and difficult challenge. I hope you are up to it.
The first step in making the perfect ramen noodles is to break up
the noodles while they are still in the package. Breaking the noodles
up before you open the package has many advantages. The biggest one is
that it makes the noodles smaller and easier to eat when you are
finished. The other good reason is that they are easier to fit into
the bowl and cook.
When you are done breaking the noodles up, the next step is to
open the package and pour the contents into a microwave-able bowl.
If you mistakenly use a non-microwaveable bowl then you may
succeed in causing a massive explosion which could destroy your dorm
and possibly you in the process. When you have the noodles in a
microwave-able bowl, you need to put just enough water in it to cover
the noodles. You don't want too much or you'll have too much
broth. You don't want too little or the noodles will be dry.
After you have everything ready, you need to put the bowl,
noodles, and water into the microwave and set it on high for two
minutes. You need to save the seasoning package because you will need
it later on.
After two minutes is up and you take the bowl out, the noodles
will not quite be done, they will be warm, but they will still be a
little hard. It's at this point that you put the seasoning in. After
you are done with this part, you put the bowl and contents back
into the microwave for two more minutes. This period will be
long enough to finish cooking them.
While you are on this final two-minute stretch, you can find
something to do. You can quickly go over your homework, read a book,
or even type a paper. As a matter of fact, I have ramen noodles in
the microwave at this very moment.
When the noodles are done, they will be extremely hot. This heat
can be incredibly dangerous because the noodles could cause a bad
burn which could scare you away from ever attempting to make these
delicious noodles again. You're going to want to put three pieces of
small ice in the bowl. If you have larger ice then adjust
accordingly. You should stir the ice around and then let it sit for a
little while. The ice aides in helping the noodles to cool down,
and since you don't have much broth, it won't dilute the flavor or
make it watery. While you are waiting for it to cool down you can do
something constructive like read a book, paint a picture, clean
your bathroom, or finish a paper as I am doing right now.
After your noodles are cool enough to eat you will want to get a
fork or a spoon, if you prefer, and eat. Make sure to clean your bowl
as soon as you are done so that the left over noodles won't dry
and stick to the bowl, forcing you to throw it away.
I've spent the last three years perfecting my ramen noodle
recipe. It has taken lots of trial and error to come up with this
perfect dish. I hope you can appreciate all of the trouble that I
have gone through to provide the best recipe possible.